Fox Mulder:
No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.
Dana Scully:
There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need more evidence.
Walter Skinner:
<teeth clenched> You've got 24 hours to find out why that @!!*@!@ chicken crossed the road!!!
Canser Man:
<blows puff of smoke> There was no chicken.
Alex Krycek:
Because he can't decide WHAT side he's really on.
Byers (LG):
It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.
Langly (LG):
It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.
Frohike (LG):
<snapping a photo> I don't know, but she's hot.
Bill Mulder:
It heard the words, and they made sense to it… merchandise… fryer parts…
Mrs. Mulder:
I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.
Mrs. Scully:
I had a dream about the chicken being taken away…
Melissa Scully:
The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner self, to find the light and the good. It was in a very dark place…
Bill Scully, Sr:
One day the chicken and I will be together again…
Bill Scully, Jr:
Dana, you spend too much time worrying about chickens… for HIM? You should be home with your family!
Agent Pendrell:
To get Dana a birthday present.
The Well-Manicured Man:
It will cross the road in one of two ways…
Deep Throat:
Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.
X:
The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross alone. The road is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.
Marita Covarrubias:
I don't know how much I can tell you about the chicken… Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss. How much time do you have?
Jeremiah Smith:
I can't tell you right now why the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you…
The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter:
Tell me where the chicken is!